Around 45 years ago, my mom, a very young recently married college graduate, woke up unable to see, leading to a scary diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. Despite the challenges she boldly chose to have two children. 31 years ago our lives changed forever when my mother had an AVM rupture in her brain, when I was six years old. While the surgery was able to save her life, it left her with debilitating permanent cognitive damage. I spent many of the following years living a life of longing for things I would never get, what if’s, and the pain of accepting that sometimes no matter how much we want things in life, we have very little control of the circumstances we are given. I’ve wondered so many things: what she was like, what my life would have been like. Yes it hurts, and it probably always will. As an adult, I’ve realized that although I may have missed out on a lot of the things I always thought I wanted, I gained a whole lot of unexpected blessings that have shaped the way I experience the world forever. I’ve learned that although we may not always get what we want, we have everything we need to build our own happiness, which is a choice. I’ve learned that my mother and father are pillars of strength, courage, dedication, appreciation, gratitude, optimism and so much more. I’ve learned that being able to speak clearly, think clearly, communicate clearly, walk easily are gifts that we cannot take for granted, because my mom has lived without them for decades. I’ve learned that a life of dedication and service to others brings character and joy-the way my father has, even though no day has been “easy” or even comfortable. I’ve learned that when you stop mourning the life you wish you had and start appreciating the life you are given, magnificent awakenings blossom. I’ve learned when you focus on what you have instead of what you do not have, gratitude gives birth to joy. Pain, when experienced and utilized mindfully, fosters growth. And growth is the starting block of fulfillment. For all of this and so much more I thank the Creator of the Universe for the gift of my mother and father today and every day. Just because it hasn’t been easy doesn’t mean it hasn’t been beautiful. Anything good I have been blessed to do is not despite all of this pain, but definitely because if it. Blessing everyone I know with the gift of realizing we have everything we need to live our best lives and be our best selves.
Article Picture: The author, Gevura, as a young child with her mother, Carol
Gevura Davis lives in Merion Station, PA with her husband and five children. She is the Director of Engagement as well as the leader of women’s programming for the Aish Chaim Center and is a well-known educator and inspirational speaker who inspires countless women worldwide.
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